Don’t be swept off your feet when you meet a single date stay grounded and be aware of your needs, desires and wants. When there is something you want and need in the mature relationship you have every right that it will at least be considered as valid and important and not dismissed out of hand.
Start small, like mentioning an activity you’d like to do or a restaurant you’d like to try when you are dating. Maybe ask them to change the time for the date, or call you at a certain time. Seer what their reaction is if you ask them to drive if you normally provide the transport, so that you can have a drink for a change.
It’s easy to be fooled, when you are a dater. Narcissists can seem like very good givers as long as it’s something they want to give. They might only want to associate with his friends so that you are separated from trusted friends. They might ask you do them favours but they are somehow not reciprocated, when you need a helping hand. When you allow yourself to look at your so-called relationship is all about his world; you just live in it.?
Ask for what you want and need and watch carefully to see the reaction with your clear, bright grownup eyes, when you are dating.No matter how charmed you are or how much fun you are having with your date when deciding if they could be a possible partner, stay focused on your must-haves, goals and desires for your life-style. You want a dating companion who is honest, reliable, and generous, right? You want to feel appreciated, respected and understood. You are real person with real needs and desires and you deserve respect and a true partnership.
When your date upsets you, do they always have a way to ultimately making it your fault and make you feel wrong or unreasonable in bringing the issue up? Do they discount things you say or things you want, because they claim to know better, as if you are childish or don’t make sense? Do they dominate the conversation and turn the topic back to themselves? Do you feel that they have abused your kindness? Do you feel slighted or ignored or belittled?
None of these feelings are good feelings and have no place in a relationship and it is better to find more like-minded date.
Sarah Hussey xx