Communicating online before meeting on Older Dating Online
There are many advantages to communicating and getting to know daters before meeting for that first forty plus date.
When you are communicating online you can remain anonymous at the beginning and reveal more about yourself as you go on which is great if you are a bit nervous or shy. However, you do need to bear in mind that communication is not just words as most of our communication when we are face to face is non verbal.
As forty plus daters we are constantly responding to the non-verbal clues that daters give us to enable us to respond appropriately to what daters are saying.
When we are chatting online we don’t have that same advantage as we can’t see a smile, grin or a frown as we don’ have the normal visual clues, which we can react to when we realise that the dater that we are chatting to is being hurt or upset by what we say or if we are making them happy; or whether they are interested or have grown bored or agitated by the dating conversation. This means that the communication online could seem a bit insensitive and we need to aware that we are actually `speaking’ to a real person, with real feelings, even though you are not seeing the visual clues.
When you are forty plus dating online we can forget that the forty plus dater we are contacting has a real life with feelings, worries and concerns and we need to realise that they can be affected by what we `say online’, often beyond what we are aware of, because we don’t know what else is going on in their lives.
If you have never met the person it is even more likely that you will find it difficult to respond with the same sensitivity that you would if you had met them face to face.
All this means that you need to ensure you are not rude, dismissive or otherwise insensitive. If a forty plus dater is making contact and you are not interested then say so, politely.
Don’t be overly abrupt, flirtatious, aggressive because you feel that there will be no consequences, because there is always consequences, even though you might not realise it. You could damage someone’s self esteem, make them lose trust in forty plus daters online and it could change their perception of life in general.
If you wouldn’t feel good about receiving a message then don’t send it to another forty plus dater.