Forty plus dating on Older Dating Online can take stamina and wisdom

Forty plus dating on Older Dating Online can take stamina and wisdom

When you’re forty plus and single it can be hard to avoid well meaning but upsetting dating advice.  Friends, family, social media all have loads of advice pointing out why you might be single and the advice on how to change your single status.

Even once you find a potential dater who might fit the relationship criteria . the  not so helpful but well meaning advice continues.  How to make your forty plus relationship work,, how to keep your relationship fresh and attractive. It can be exhausting, trying to work out the good advice from the bad, and remembering all the wordly wisdom. Is it any wonder that many daters keep their profiles on Older Dating Online a scret that is only shared with close and trusted friends.

Occasionally, however, a piece of advice will be worth taking and thinking about and may even influence my actions and thoughts while I an forty plus dating online.

Recently at a party, where there was a fair amount of dancing.  The dancing provided the perfect excuse to break down the normal physical barriers that are socially akward when on forty plus dates.  You have to touch someone, in order to slow dance with them.

I was nervous. Mainly because I can’t remember the last time I was held  in the arms of a man. Swallowing my apprehension , I made the most of the occasion and dressed in a lovely dress that suited me, heeled shoes and had my hair styled for the evening. Feeling beautiful and romantic, I felt good when I walked in and the glass of champagne, which was handed to me made me feel special and a little privileged.

.I had to consider the care that I had taken with my dress and appearance and I realised that the forty plus men at the party had also taken the same amount of time and effort and it made me feel that if I was asked to dance by a man who was not immediately attractive  or my idea of a date, I would agree to dance with him, simply because of the effort that he had made to look nice and appealing. Simply dance with him for three minutes and then leave.  Where is the harm in that?  Is a ‘yes’ so hard? The men have also spent many hours choosing their outfits and plucking up the courage to come along to the party.” It takes courage to approach someone who is a stranger and ask them to dance, and it would seem cruel to refuse.

That was then when it occurred to me that so often I do not reply to messages. Is it because I don’t have to physically have to face them? Fair enough I don’t reply to a general introduction as that is not a person note addressed to me, but a message to me is an invitation to communicate.

Most forty plus daters  I come across online are a ‘No’, for whatever reason.  They maybe too short or possible too old.  However like me they are hoping to start communication and make a real connection. They are  also struggling with lack of confidence and insecurities , bruises from past relationships, and apparent shortcomings about there appearance.

I had only ever thought about me.  My nerves.  My shortcomings.  My issues.

Rejection is tough. You are obviously not going to fall in love with everyone that you meet online. However it costs nothing to have an open mind and a kind heart.

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