Knowing what to say when you’re meeting a forty plus date for the first time isn’t always easy. Being inquisitive is a great way to both show interest and calm your nerves by taking some of the attention off yourself.
Leave some room for deep conversation if you really want to get to know someone but bear in mind that the more profound questions can still be asked in a lighthearted manner.
Perhaps these suggestions can be adapted to fit your forty plus individual style and personality.
If you weren’t on a date right now, what would you be doing?
This is a fun way to ask about a person’s routine or what they like to do in their free time. Forget asking about hobbies or interests, which people can always make up to sound way cooler, this question will put them into imagination mode, prompting them to think realistically about their typical social habits.
What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
Do you have the same interests and does this person live life on the safer side? What is their level of adventure? After all it is a bit pointless if they are expecting to meet a forty plus dater who will go white water rafting with them if you are content with evenings watching a box set.
How would your best friend describe you in three sentences?
The way someone believes they’re perceived by others is a reflection of how they view themselves.
Who do you look up to the most and why?
This question will give an indication of the traits that this person either has or would like to develop.
What is your passion or special interest that makes you an individual.
Perhaps your forty plus date has a hidden talent or an obscure interest. This question provides your mature date with the opportunity to share openly, and it gives you the chance to see them in their best light.
If you want to make a determination about someone you’ve just met, listen more then you speak, be inquisitive, and dig deeper than the surface. At the very least, this approach will confirm or deny a connection and give you confidence about the next steps.
Of course, the date doesn’t have to be entirely profound. When you’re ready to mix in some more lighthearted questions and you could also answer some of your own questions so that your date can get to know you better too.
Sarah Hussey xx