There are few things more painful than being ignored. It’s especially hurtful when you’re being ignored by someone you’re dating or in love with. In fact, in can cause an intense physical reaction. Tightness in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, and having trouble sleeping are all afflictions associated with being ignored. It’s damaging to our self-esteem and can lead to mental illness as it can become an obsessive desire to gain the persons attention.
Why would the forty plus dater ignore you in the first place? Perhaps some reasons to consider are; they are playing games! If you are in the early dating stage, they could be playing hard to get. If this seems like a reasonable reason then you need to realise that manipulative behaviour isn’t acceptable at any stage of a forty plus relationship. Trust that if someone really likes you, they won’t play games.
When someone is intentionally ignoring you to punish you, it’s because he wants you to feel the pain that uncertainty provokes. He may be motivated by revenge; they feel that in some way they need to control you with silence.
If you have had an argument they might be ignoring you until the situation calms down, especially if they are uncomfortable with conflict or feels the war of words is getting you nowhere. Even so, being ignored when you’re angry is incredibly frustrating and not a healthy way to solve a dispute. The best relationships are built on communication. If your partner is unwilling to engage with you to resolve issues and prefers to ignore you then you should reconsider whether they are mature enough to be in a relationship with you. Remember if this behaviour starts early in the relationship it will only get worse and you need to consider if this is a relationship that you are enjoying being part of.
Even the closest forty plus daters need some individual space sometimes. Try to determine what kind of forty plus person you’re dating. Are they an introvert who needs plenty of alone time to recharge or an extrovert who is rarely alone? Once you have considered the personality traits you can judge whether they’re really ignoring you or just taking space.
Perhaps they are just not interested in you as a forty plus date and this is their way of dealing with it. Not an admirable way of dealing with things but if that is the reasons behind the silence then you need to count yourself lucky that you are not being contacted by this despicable person and that it leaves you free to find someone who would never ignore you instead.
Do you really want to be with someone who puts contacting you at the bottom of their to-do list?
Sarah Hussey xx