When you’ve suffered heartbreak and loss when forty plus dating it can be difficult to move forward into a positive new relationship without being haunted by the past but it is possible to break free and forge a brighter future.
The emotional baggage from a hurtful relationship experience can often lead us to react to a new date differently. Any hint of a behaviour that reminds us of hurts encountered in the past can result in a reactive state, which leads us to behave in unhelpful or unpredictable ways.
Intimate relationships take courage. In the attempt to avoid pain we end up closing our hearts to a truly intimate and loving forty plus relationship.
Healing from any past relationship takes time, but sometimes we need to accept that we need more than time to heal. We need to take charge of our emotions to break old self- defence habits.
Reliving the details of the hurtful relationship and retelling embeds the feelings into our lives and stops you from moving on. Stop repeating the heart ache and choose to move on in a positive open way. Get a broader perspective on your life and choose not to be a victim.
Are you routinely experiencing joy and gratitude, or sadness, resentment and anger? Focus on all the past successes and current resources that you have.Apply an empowering meaning to your past and embrace all that you have now. Allow yourself to accept that you have grown from heartache and become a stronger and more resilient forty plus person, because you are an over comer. Mentally rehearse success.
Our imaginations are problem-solving machines. Think of all the dreams you’ve had that have become reality. Perhaps you have become more confident to travel the world on your own. Don’t spend time thinking about how bad things are going to be will have a detrimental impact on your wellbeing.
It’s also a blatant misuse of your imagination! Spend time visualising positive things into your life. You are accountable for bringing the necessary trust, love, respect and passion into your way of being.
Start imagining what you want in your life and think those positive thoughts and bring that positive personality into play when you are on a forty plus date.
Sarah Hussey xxx