Are you a passive person who is a peace maker and finds it hard to stand up for yourself in case you upset other forty plus people. Well this is time to change and become more self confident and able to say `no’ and mean it.
Know How To Say “No”Diplomatically But Firmly.
To be able to say “no” diplomatically but firmly is to practice the art of communication. Effectively articulated, it allows you to stand your ground while maintaining a workable relationship.
Remember that as a forty plus dater you need to set your own boundaries and to set your own priorities, the right to say “no” without feeling guilty, and the right to choose your own happy and healthy life-style.
If confrontation is hard for you you might find it hard to stand up to bullies and forceful forty plus people. Make sure that you are in a safe position when you confront a bully as this will give you the extra confidence that you need.
A manipulator also becomes a bully when they intimidate or harm the other person. person.
The most important thing to keep in mind about bullies is that they pick on those whom they perceive as weaker, so as long as you remain passive and compliant, you make yourself a target. If you are a peace maker you will need to take control and make sure that your own peace and well being is in the right place.
Many bullies are also cowards on the inside. When their targets begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, the bully will often back down. This is true in schoolyards, as well as in the forty plus dating scene.
“When people don’t like themselves very much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully was actually a victim first.”—Tom Hiddleston
“I realized that bullying never has to do with you. It’s the bully who’s insecure.” —Shay Mitchell
Once you have confronted a bully once or twice it will increase your self confidence and make you feel more control as a forty plus daters.
When confronting bullies, be sure to place yourself in a position where you can safely protect yourself, whether it’s standing tall on your own, having other people present to witness and support. It is always important to arrange the first few forty plus dates in a public place , where you feel comfortable and in control of the environment.
The consequences of standing up for yourself are self respect and the respect of the person who is trying to bully you. A win win situation and you will have your own inner peace and that is the most important after all!
Sarah Hussey xx