Awkward feelings when meeting a virtual forty plus stranger can plague most forty plus first dates. Prolonged silences are the first dater’s worst nightmare. Sitting opposite a forty plus date you have agreed to meet on a first date can feel like an eternity when the conversation fades for a few seconds. So if you suddenly realise that actually you have very little in common it can feel as though you need the earth to swallow you up.
If you have communicated a little online before hand it can make things a little easier and if you keep up to date with current affairs and news items. If you have a common interest topic that you both enjoy it can help to avoid those awkward moments.
Nerves can get the better of all forty plus daters at times, and a first date can be a nerve racking social situation. When you go on a forty plus date, you need to stop feeling as though someone else is sizing you up as a potential companion as this can make you feel that you are on test and that every word you say matters.
This feeling of being on a test makes you clam up. So how can you avoid those awkward silences that stem from first date nerves? Don’t view the date as a test run. Just go out and enjoy a drink or a cup of coffee with another forty plus person. It is not that important if it doesn’t work out and if it does at least you have been natural and relaxed about the date.
First date conversation can be rather repetitive, and if the topics are your work, or where you live, you may find yourself lost for words. Give yourself a break by planning a date somewhere full of like-minded things to discuss. If you are both interested in art, the head to an art exhibition, and be honest about what you see or visit the zoo, as long as both of you are ok with animal captivity, and let the animals act as a natural distraction.
If you’re particularly worried that conversation might run dry, have a think about fun conversation starters. It’s not cheating to prepare for a date. Have a look online and see if there are any ice-breaker suggestions which you’d enjoy answering yourself. I once went on a date and I asked the forty plus companion to prepare ten random questions in advance, non-serious and fun, like what is your favourite colour, meal or item of clothing. Do you have a favourite holiday destination and why?
Don’t worry if a forty plus date starts off a little awkwardly. Give your date time to relax. .
Sarah Hussey xx