“There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function.
― C. JoyBell C.
Psychological manipulation can be defined as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits, and privileges at the victim’s expense.
It is important to distinguish healthy social influence from psychological manipulation. Healthy social influence occurs between most people, and is part of the give and take of constructive relationships of all kinds. In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power, and exploits the victim to serve their personal agenda.
Most manipulative individuals have four common characteristics:
They are aware of your weakness and know how to use your weaknesses against you. They work at convincing you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
Once they have that manipulative foothold in either work, social, and dating situations, once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation. As a forty plus dater you need to be aware of this manipulation and take control of your dating agenda and if that requires you to end the dating relationship it will be a better option for you in the long run.
Root causes for chronic manipulation are complex and deep-seated. But whatever drives an individual to be psychologically manipulative, it’s not easy when you’re on the receiving end of such aggression. Perhaps building your self confidence is the best way to put an end to manipulation.
The single most important guideline when you’re dealing with a psychologically manipulative person is to know your rights, and recognize when they’re being violated. As long as you do not harm others, you have the right to stand up for yourself and defend your rights.
As a forty plus dater you have the right to be treated with respect and to express your feelings, opinions and wants and to set your own priorities.
You are entitled to say “no” without feeling guilty. To be respected for the amount you contribute to the relationship both emotionally and in a monetary situation. You are also allowed to have opinions different than others. and to care and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally.
to create your own happy and healthy forty plus dating life.
These fundamental human rights represent your boundaries.
It is not your responsibility to ensure that your boundaries are respected and that you stand up for yourself.
Sarah Hussey xx