It can be a challenge figuring out what it is you want out of a forty plus dating experience, make sure you both want the same things.
In today’s world of online dating it can feel like everything you ever knew has changed and you are not sure of the rules now. It has always been stressful when you were dating, even in your teens and now that you are forty plus and dating online it can be very nerve racking.
The digital age with face book dating online and instagram has made thinks more immediate. Yes it is easier to meet forty plus daters who you would not come in conact with but has it made it easier?
Every forty plus single is working through their uncertainty and puzzling over mixed signals to find out whether you’re wasting your time, or if it could really be love.
Figure out what you both want in a forty plus relationship.
Before you start decoding your admirer’s intentions, you need to work out exactly what you’re looking for.
Not everyone who is forty plus dating online is ready for a long-term relationship. If you’re just out of a serious relationship or going through a rough patch and looking for romantic distraction, that’s okay. But try to focus on yourself first before jumping into a relationship. After all, how can you happy with someone else if you aren’t happy and contented in your own life-style.?
If he only messages you at the last-minute suggesting meeting up and only proposes meeting at your house or his, then his motivations are clear. Monitor your conversations: do they always quickly turn towards the physical? See how he responds when you have a problem. If he’s happy to pick up the phone and offer advice then you know it’s not just lust. If he gives quick answers or tries to avoid longer conversations entirely, then he probably isn’t interested in a relationship and is more likely to be interested in a sexual relationship with no strings attached.
There’s a particular type of forty plus dater who can pivot between the physical and emotional without ever becoming your relationship partner. These daters only want an ego boost and someone to message to boost their self confidence.
They might shower you with compliments but before long, they become distant. They the thrill of the chase but don’t want to have a committed relationship.
Some forty plus daters take a little longer to tell you they’d like to be in a relationship. They have been hurt before and could be harder for them to trust a new relationship. down. However they may be worth your patience and perseverance.
They’want to hear about your day .They’re nervous around you. They are sometimes humble and they want to impress you.
They will be in touch regularly and remember past conversations you’ve had, enquiring about things you mentioned.
You won’t need to wonder who messages who first as he’ll instigate things almost every time and assume you’re up for seeing him too, arranging dates in advance. He won’t be afraid to introduce you to his friends and, eventually, even if he finds emotions difficult, he’ll find a way to tell you how he feels.
Sarah Hussey xx