This is for relationships and has nothing to do with money or finances. It is about being kind and considerate and charming as a person. This makes you a happy and positive forty plus person to be around.
We all have a ‘Relationship Bank Account’ with every relationship we have. That applies to work colleagues, siblings, parents, friends, children, acquaintances, colleagues, bosses, even strangers and people who we meet on an online dating site or have a forty plus dating relationship with, I am sure that you are getting the idea!
Some forty plus people put more positive experiences into your life than others, with the kind words that they use, or the compassion that they show and the compliments that they show us.
The basic idea is that those positive people will look for the positive in the forty plus people that they meet. They are kind and giving people. They realise that they are not perfect and that neither is anyone else and they therefore appreciate the positive in both themselves and in other people. This kind of positive appreciation makes our bank accounts with them bigger and fuller than with other people who are pedantic critical and picky.
The fuller the bank account the stronger the forty plus relationship and the more that you enjoy being with that person.
The bigger the bank account the stronger and bigger the relationship. You can never fill up a relationship bank account, it just gets bigger. On the other hand if you are in a relationship with a critical person who says nasty things and is critical and demeaning then the bank account is soon drained and the relationship flounders and dies. It might take awhile as we are always hopeful as people, however it will eventually die and end.
If you want your forty plus relationships to be strong and as full as possible, then you need to spend time creating lots of positive rewarding experiences and saying positive things by looking for the positive. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we all need mention things that are not positive and deal with things that are annoying but you need to consider a balance and if your relationship bank is full and kept topped up with positive and loving experiences, these negative experiences don’t really make a dent in our savings.
It works this way if you meet someone on online dating your relationship has not yet formed and your relationship bank is empty. If you create good associations, experiences and moments, each one of those values go into my new dating relationship bank account and makes it fuller than before. Now things that are not positive like different opinions, different backgrounds, different life experiences, will withdraw value from the existing bank account. BUT if you have spent time filling it as much as we can with rewards and positive experiences and kindness when it is time to withdraw some value it would not be as bad as if you haven’t spent the time filling up the account. Paying into your forty plus relationship bank with praise, making your forty plus date feel comfortable and relaxed. Offering sympathy and empathy when needed and sharing good adventures all provide a fuller relationship bank.
Depleting a relationship bank is often easier than filling it up but if you remember this and use fewer harsh critical words, nagging and domineering behaviours then you will not have such a marked affect on the bank balance. Telling off and unappreciation and being taken for granted are very bad relationship killers and are very hurtful, especially if the other person is obviously trying to fill up the relationship bank from their side.
Make sure that you are keeping your forty plus relationship banks filled up
Sarah Hussey xx