Do you have qualities that stop you meeting a forty plus date on Older Dating Online?
We all have insecurities and they seem to gather speed when you are forty plus dating.
Our obsession with celebrities with their seemingly perfect bodies and lives amazing houses and children. Designer clothes and high flying lives can make us feel that we are not quite up to scratch. If you are a forty plus dater and standing in front of the mirror poking your slightly bulging thighs or belly, then you are not alone. We tend never to be satisfied with ourselves and the way that we speak to ourselves can be very cruel and offensive. When we start dating a forty plus dater we need to build up our self confidence by being kind to ourselves.
These insecurities may spill over into your larger worry of your dating attitude an may be the reason that you are still single.
Perhaps the real reason you are alone and lonely on a Saturday night is because you are in denial and you cannot face the reality of being in a relationship. You have to make room for someone in your life to have a relationship and when you are forty plus and used to having your own space and your own life decisions that can mean that you have to compromise.
We often think of denial as pertaining to big issues like mental illness, money problems or substance abuse.
However denial can be about facing up to the fact that you have an issue with sharing, or feel that you are not ready for a long term relationship. Even that you don’t want to share your life with another person.
Denial can even hold us back from achieving our forty plus dating goals, or even realising that we have relationship goals.
So how do you recognise that you have goals that you are denying. Do you want to open up to love.
If you don’t want to be a forty plus single anymore, go back to that mirror and truly look at yourself. Do not put yourself down and be critical. Look at yourself in a favorable light and be kind Don’t concentrate on the outside but look at the kindness you have in your soul.
Facing yourself with kindness and being honest about your denial and fixing it is the first step to finding your own love and forty plus happiness.
Denial at its root may be a defence mechanism to spare ourselves because we have been hurt in the past and we don’t want to do the work to start a new relationship. Are you scared of the rejection? Maybe you have forgotten how to date. Is intimacy a problem?
All of these aspects could be a barrier to finding forty plus love and love.
Look past the superficial and really think about the aspects that could be holding you back from being in love with a new forty plus partner. How does your denial create or manifest itself?
Sarah Hussey xx