Too many forty plus daters the opposite sex can seem like a bit of an enigma. If you call too often, you’re pushy. If you don’t call enough, you’re not interested.
Trying to make sense of the dating world when you are forty plus can be a challenge. Some common sense ideas to make life easier are always handy when you are starting out on the online dating scene.
You might be a bundle of nerves and needing a drink to get those nerves under control but never drink too much on a date. If you want to stay in control of the date and keep up the interesting communication then don’t overindulge.
Don’t let your guard down and don’t become intimate until you know each other better. That applies to both men and women. You really do not know each other yet and safe intimacy can only be just that` safe’ when you are able to trust each other. The last thing you need is a `bunny boiler ‘ situation.
Avoid that dreadful feeling of the morning after the night before and keep the forty plus date friendly and the communication light and interesting
Keep somethings private and don’t post things online and don’t reveal loads of personal stuff as one date does not make anything official and trust takes time to build up, even when you feel like you are lonely and in a hurry to be in a relationship.
Don’t smother each other in contacts and emails and messages, it is a new relationship which can soon feel like a starker situation if you are always checking up on each other. Resist the feeling of needing to always be in touch and make sure you have your own interests and life. Having said that, there needs to be a balance that exists so that your date doesn’t feel that you are playing games and ignoring them. Yes it is a fine line but it needs to be a balance of communication when you are starting out on a forty plus relationship.
Don’t loose your own identity. Maintain your own interests. You both need your own space and this will make you both seem more interesting when you get together again for future dates. Make sure that when you go out on forty plus dates that the times and dates suit you both.
A few common sense tips will make your dating life less stressful and allow you both some form of control and respect for each other as individuals .
Sarah Hussey xx