There is no more highly charged topic than cheating when you are dating or in a forty plus relationship .
So you have to make sure that you are ready for some hard facts and truths when the subject of cheating comes up. If you have been cheated on then this will be particularly sensitive because of betrayal in your past.
I believe that we are all capable of cheating.
We often judge something harshly and loudly as a response to our own fears of weakness. The response that is often given is “ ALL men cheat”
It’s assumed that this is something that ALL men do when it has never been established as a truth so many forty plus men are very faithful and loyal. This cynical feeling can come out of a feeling of betrayal that we carry out of being the one cheated on in the past.
The difference in the % of cheating men vs. cheating women is negligible. The fact is that forty plus dating women are just much better at rationalising and hiding their indiscretions. One rationalisation is `Will it hurt him?’
When it comes right down to it, we’re all capable of doing whatever it takes to get our own way. No forty plus dater is beyond some deception to get their emotional and biological satisfied.
The reasons for cheating can apply equally to both forty plus men and women daters, however the outcome is the same but the difference is that each gender has a reason for why they cheated, just with a different priority.
Men are generally looking for sexual validation… branded as being untrustworthy. This is not always true and many men are faithful and looking for a committed relationship. Are willpower and intellectual strength be enough to control biological needs or sex drive.? The sex drive is second only to the need for food. So the desire for sexual satisfaction needs to be meet.
The primary reason that forty plus women cheat is to achieve some kind of emotional or relationship connection and when a woman isn’t getting a sense of real intimate connection in her relationship, she will cheat.
It’s always easier to jump in a new bed and enjoy that visceral thrill of a new sexual relationship than it is to work through your issues in the relationship you have. Both forty plus men and women are both guilty of throwing away perfectly good relationships that were sometimes uncomfortable.
Ego is a big part of a man’s self-opinion and how he judges his self-worth. If you are a forty plus dating cheater, how do you justify your actions? Do you have something missing in your forty plus relationship? Is it better to work on the existing relationship or is it sometimes far too difficult with no end in sight?
Finding your forty plus date for a committed relationship.
Sarah Hussey xx