There are many areas of concern singles have when thinking about dating again. These fears might range from not being sure how the dating scene has changed to worries about how the family may react.
Many forty plus singles feel uncertain about intimacy with a new date. The question also arises as to whether one should have sex outside of marriage. It is your ability to set the rules and establish the boundaries that best suit you when dating. However, if you do choose to have intercourse, you should use protection. Age is not a preventative for sexually-transmitted diseases and you are never too old for safe sex.
Although some singles do experience a reduction in sex drive, this is a topic that you may want to discuss with the single you are dating, once you have decided that you are not going to meet other dates and that you are happy with a committed mature relationship. An honest discussion of expectations can prevent misunderstandings down the road.
One worry is whether grown children will accept a new partner in both your and their lives. This will depend upon the personality of the children and your new partner. The best thing to do is to introduce the new partner in your life to your family and let them begin interacting. Daughters and sons can sometimes worry that the new man or woman is trying to replace a mother or father. Reassure the children that this is not the case and that the new person in your life is a much needed and appreciated companion in the here and now but would not be a replacement for a past relationship. Making your extended family aware that you were dating at the onset will mean that when you meet a new person and start a committed relationship it is not a shock and a total surprise.
Time will tell whether the family is going to mesh well. Although the kids’ feelings should be considered, do remember that they no longer live at home. Your happiness is probably important to them, and if you express that this new person makes you happy, they are likely to learn to accept him or her in their lives.
As a forty plus person, you have more life and relationship experience than most members of your family, so while you may welcome their input, you’re the ultimate authority on your own love life.
Take a deep breath and enjoy the process of dating. No matter your age, there are joys to be had on the dating scene. Be careful and take a chance – you might meet a wonderful mature forty plus love interest!
Sarah Hussey xx