If you are dating a forty plus date who repeatedly makes wounding comments without an apology and then makes out you are too sensitive and take things too seriously it should be a red flag as why would you want to be with someone so hurtful.
If they know full well that their comment was hurtful, and deep down you know, that they meant every word then run away and call time on this forty plus dating experience. It is not a joke and it is not funny to wound someone and if they are too spiteful and callous to acknowledge this then it is time to move on to someone who deserves you.
They say they were joking, but, in reality, they were craftily going on the offensive to manoeuvre themselves into a dominant position. Stand your ground and face up to the fact that the relationship is not worth the heartache. Find a kinder Forty plus dater online.
If you don’t stand up to them, this behaviour will be entrenched and means that you are prepared to accept the narcissist’s behaviour. It allows the narcissist to say what they like and therefore the `jokes’ will get more and more hurtful.
A narcissist has an uncanny ability to spot insecurities and things that might be considered as flaws, they then use these against you at a time when you are feeling at your lowest. You might have let your guard down and confessed that you feel insecure about something because you trust the person that you are in a forty plus relationship in but your hurtful dater will use this knowledge against you.
To you, it feels like a way to build and strengthen the bond of the forty plus relationship but to your hurtful partner it is ammunition to be used at a later date. Beware of this hurtful dater as when the time comes to score points over you , they will launch an offensive, using the information you handed over in trust to reopen old wounds and make you feel the same trauma, embarrassment and pain you have struggled with in the past.
The narcissist point scorer thrives on the power they hold over you and are not afraid to use it in any situation where they feel it would advance their cause.